Marriage

Don't ask do tell!

There is a question that really should never be asked. There is a statement that should not be unsaid. They are Why do you love me? and I love you.

To an extent we all know about the paradox of love. It is both amazingly simple and frighteningly complicated. We all need it and want it. Some say they don't. I believe those people are frightened, angry, or stubborn and hiding from the truth. That or they have moved far from God and love is his main commandment.

Matthew 22:36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said to him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Websters

Why do you love me?

I believe "Why do you love me?" is an unfair and potentially dangerous question. Unfair because it puts the person being asked in the position of having to come up with an answer that does not disappoint. Usually when a person ask this question they are either searching for a specific answer that only they can know or a personal emotional response brought on by the answer.

Often this question is asked by someone feeling down. Or they may be in need of acknowledgment. In any case the question can be dangerous. No one can always know the specific answer. The asker may not even know. We know, to an extent, why we love someone. Over time those reasons can be added to or even change. That's alright because we still love them. So don't ask this question. You may not get the answer you were searching for.

I love You

I love you are some of the most powerful but often unsaid words. Some people are uncomfortable saying them. If you are one of those think of this. It is much more uncomfortable not to hear those words. Also looking back and realizing you left it unsaid to the people you love is very uncomfortable. A better word is regrettable.

There are so many things in this world that can cause pain and heartbreak. We have only to watch the news to know so many people have taken their own lives for feeling unloved. Think how many may have been spared by hearing "I love you." Picture the home of a dysfunctional family or any troubled child. Out of all that is said in that home how often do you think those powerful words are spoken. I mean spoken sincerely.

Just about every bad feeling and fight could be stopped. This may take some practice to become habit. Next time your husband, wife, or any family member says something that makes you mad try this. Instead of the usual response take a breath and say "I love You." Think of how many fights and hard feelings that could be avoided. This can work with anyone. They don't have to be a family member. Just use discretion in the locker room. You want to keep your teeth. :)