School Bullying

Going to school should be a wonderful learning experience. For kids being bullied it is a nightmare. There is a constant often paralyzing fear of going to school. The abuse can range from name calling to outright assault. They are seen as different, weak, not willing to fit in. Once singled out it wouldn't mater if they tried. Not only is there fear of the act itself but also humiliation. The eyes of the bully and and everyone in the vicinity are upon them. The victim will feel angry but also ashamed. This is usually not a one time assault. Bullies are relentless.

Bullies Unchallenged

Time and again we find school officials have been informed but did not taken proper action against bullies. As a parent I find this inexcusable. Yes schools are overcrowded. Yes teachers and principles are busy. No one is too busy to come to the aid of another. Now the bully has a sense of empowerment. How many of you children have witnessed someone being bullied? I can bet most of you. I have seen this played out in the news. Children being interviewed report: "Everyone knew it was happening." Do you see the problem with that? They saw another human being being bullied, assaulted, and did nothing. From the adults and other kids the bully goes unchallenged. It is more likely that the bully will get help than the victim. Like a pack of wild animals at the scent of blood.

Let's put ourselves in the place of the victims

The alarm rings waking you from a nightmare. Opening your eyes you know the nightmare is a replay of humiliating events. You know that you will have to go through it again. Getting dressed you wonder why you are the target. Looking in the mirror you may start to judge your own appearance. Somehow you summon the courage to go back to school.

You try to be inconspicuous. You try so hard to blend in. Being constantly on edge you've made a mistake. You forgot to bring a pencil. "Great! Now I have to stop at my locker." Inner dialog may be funny in the shows but for you it's part of life. You have become your own constant companion. You get your pencil without incident. "Cool! Maybe today will be alright." You walk on a little less nervous. Your guard slightly down. Then you feel it. A blow to the back of your head. You hear the cruel laughter. Blood rushes to your face and your vision narrows. You try keep moving but someone trips you. "Stop it!" "What are you going to do about it?" You plead. "Just leave me alone." "Aww is the baby gonna cry?" Now the bully is in your face. At first you try to avoid eye contact. That just lets you see the other kids looking at you. Several kids have stopped to watch. Others pass by laughing. Some seem not to notice. While you look away you are shoved. So you turn your eyes back to the bully trying to look brave. Someone says "C'mon leave him alone. He ain't worth it." That stings even more.

You try to search out a friendly face. All you find is other grinning or trying to avoid the situation themselves. Feeling tears well up you try hard not to cry. A passing teacher ask if there is a problem. Your throat is tight and it's too embarrassing to say anyway. "Please don't make me say it" you think. "Just help me please! you know what's going on!" The bell rings and the teacher authoritatively says "Alright get to class everyone." The bullies walk on laughing, acting proud of themselves. You hurry to class trying to not to look at anyone. Sitting in your desk you still feel and hear your heart beating in your ears and chest. There are a few quiet remarks and snickers. You hope that you make it through the rest of the day unnoticed.

Can you imagine such humiliation? Such helplessness? Would you want to go through that? Imagine the feeling of embarrassment, rejection, and even shame. Imagine the fear of knowing even in a public place you are not safe. Witnesses either unconcerned or unwilling to help. At most you have become a distraction or entertainment for the bored or curious.

Stopping Bullies

I'll tell you something about myself here. I usually will walk away from a fight. I never cared if I was called chicken for not fighting back. For another person however, I will make a stand. Especially for those who cannot defend themselves. Against several and once against my own friend when they had bullied kids weaker than them.

Do not become a passive observer. Someones misfortune is not your entertainment. Television may make it seem so but it is wrong. Let's imagine again. You are walking down the street. Someone tries to attack you. Seeing a store across the street you run there because there are several people. The attacker doesn't stop. He continues even though you plea for help. To your shock no one intervenes. they just watch. Wouldn't that be horrifying? That is what the victim of most school bullies experience.

Proverbs 3:27 Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.

What can you do to stop bullying?

Get help. Make sure someone gets a the closest adult.

Take a stand. Bullies are outnumbered. Along with your friends take the victim by the hand and walk away. If the bully follows then surround the victim. Again. Do not just watch or ignore the situation.

Speak Out. Talk to your principles, councilors, and teachers. Ask them to hold a mandatory assembly. At this assembly let everyone know that bullying will not be tolerated. Let everyone know that participation is expected. This means that if someone is being bullied then everyone nearby is expected to stand with the victim.

Do not Escalate. Speak firm but calmly. Tell the bully you are not here to fight but you will not allow him or her to continue.

Pray and Show Love. In all things be prayerful. Not only for protection of yourself and others but pray for the bully. I put Pray and Love together for a reason. Praying for another is an act of love. Especially when praying for someone who has done you wrong. Christ Jesus did the same for those who persecuted Him. Even for those killing Him.

Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do...

This is common throughout the Old and New Testaments. It is the major message from God. Forgiveness. What the bully does is wrong for sure. It is hurtful. At the same time the bully may be acting out because of his or her own pain. That is not to make an excuse. It is just good to remember there is more to someone than what we see. We must also remember this; we have committed our own sins and have been in need of forgiveness.

Show love to a bully. Act towards them just like you would your best friend. Treat them just how you want to be treated. Jesus set an example for us and we are to carry on and set that same example for others.

John 13:15 For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.
Titus 2:7 In all things showing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine showing incorruptness, gravity, sincerity,...

For more information and ideas for dealing with bullies check out this Government website. Part of the HRSA (Health Resources and Services Administration) Stop Bullying Now